


Loser

by Pepitabread



Category: Ylvis
Genre: M/M, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 05:49:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2457149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepitabread/pseuds/Pepitabread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gullsjansen punishment brings out the truth..</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loser

**Author's Note:**

> I lost a bet... :P

Magnus chuckled to himself at his desk in the corner of the large shared office. Vegard walked over to him and leaned over his shoulder trying to sneak a peak at what he was doing. 

"Hey, no cheating" Magnus snapped, and quickly closed the tab on his computer screen. "You'll find out, all in good time"

"I can't believe we agreed to give you total control over the punishment in the finale.. we should have gone with the scripted version instead" 

"Oh come on" Magnus sighed, "you wanted to go live, this will be _live!_ " He looked over at Bård and Calle who were sat on the sofa, "no more scripted punishments, it's time you live a little, get a little taste of the nerves you all claim to never feel.."

\----

"As you all can see from the scoreboard, the result right now is a tie, so it'll all be decided tonight" Magnus beamed in his golden suit, holding up the last gullmagge and taking in the cheers from the audience. 

"Are you ready to find out today's competition? The final competition that will decide it all?" 

"Get on with it" Bård mouthed at him.

"Tonight on gullsjansen: The first one to get his pants on without using hands wins both this final gullmagge and the entire competition"

"What??" The brothers exclaimed in unison. "That's not fair, Calle has had practice!"

"All is fair in love and war, boys" Magnus winked at them, "besides, you might be naturals at it, who knows?"

They weren't. Arms, legs and pieces of clothing flew around the stage, none of it ending up where it was intended. At one point they were both on the floor, squirming like larvae trying to reenter the pupae. They were still on the floor as Magnus called out that a winner had emerged, someone who had used exactly one minute to finish his task with brilliance, yet again.

 

"And the winner is… CALLE!" Magnus turned to face the audience. The room erupted in applause and heavy cheering.  
Calle jumped around the stage enthusiastically, bumping into both brothers and Magnus on his way over to hold the final gullmagge triumphantly over his head. A video of the mayor of Averøya congratulating the winner came on screen, and Calle walked over to Bård and gently put his head on his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry.. I thought about letting you win" he whispered into Bård's ear, "but I also wanted to get out of here sometime before midnight, so.." he was interrupted by Bård smacking him hard in the shoulder. 

"Watch it you idiot" he winked at the fair haired man, who in return pulled him in close for a hug. "You smell so good.. will you come home with me tonight?" 

"Shh Calle, not here", Bård stressed, and looked around the room with an embarrassed expression. 

"Oh come on, everyone knows we're together, and besides, they're all watching the Averøya tape." He stroked the brown haired man on the cheek and tucked his hair behind his ear, and motioned in closer for a kiss.

"Punishment time!!" Magnus's voice rang loud in the theatre. "Will the two losers please step up to the loser platform over there and receive your punishment, picked out by yours truly, the magnificent Magnus Devold!" He looked around and soaked in the applause as Bård and Vegard made their way up the podium set up especially for the occasion. 

"Right, I'm sure you're all curious to what this punishment is going to be, and I've racked my brain trying to come up with something fitting… I've been on the internet and it seemed the dance segment from the premiere was quite popular so, for the finale it's a double dance for double losers. Your punishment is to do an unironic slow dance together!"

"What? No, Magnus.." 

"Tch tch tch, you gave me the power of choice, you deal with the consequences. Now, to the rules: you see all the candles around the podium? Well, for each time you try to joke this away, the setting gets more romantic. One joke, and the light gets dimmed and a candle gets lit. Understood?"

"Yes", the brothers nodded. Bård looked over his shoulder at Calle, who was standing by the stairs watching them intently with a huge grin on his face. 

"Ready?" Magnus yelled. Bård looked down and turned back towards Vegard. "Get into position, and… GO"

The brothers walked closer to each other slowly and awkwardly, until they were pressed against each other. Vegard put his arms around Bårds waist and Bård did the same, and ultimately they slipped into a rhythm of swaying along with the obnoxiously loud love song. 

They danced like that in silence for a while, until Vegard whispered "it's been a while since we've done this" 

"Vegard.." Bård tried to shush him, but Vegard continued "I've missed this. Your body.. close to mine"

"Vegard please, don't.." 

"Please don't what Bård? Don't remind you how good we used to be? Don't remind you of how you dumped me for Calle just because you were scared he'd find out about us?"

Bård squirmed in Vegards arms. Suddenly the room got darker, spare for the tiny yellow orbs of fire round the edges of their elevated little prison. "That's one!" They could barely hear Magnus's voice over the music.

"Did you think about me in all of this? Did you stop to think for even a second how I felt?" he tried looking Bård in the eye but his little brother averted his gaze. "Look at me Bård, please" 

"I think about you all the time ok!" Bård all but spit out. "I think of you all the time" he said again in a calmer tone, "every time he kisses me I close my eyes and pretend it's you. You're not the only one this has been hard for, Vegard.." he tried to continue on a path of something coherent but Vegard suddenly pulled him even closer, his mouth at Bård's ear. 

"I need you Bård!" he whispered, voice slow and breathy "I want you… I love you.. come to my place tonight?" 

Bård finally looked up and met his brother's dark brown gaze, eyes sparkling in the shimmer of the candles. He inhaled and opened his mouth, but then an abrupt silence almost made him lose his footing; the song had finished. The dance.., the punishment, was over. 

An earth shattering roar of applause and cheering filled their ears instead, and they let go of each other, took a bow and turned to walk off the podium. It was only when he saw Calle's face, no sign of the earlier huge grin, that he realized he was still holding Vegard's hand. He squeezed it lightly before letting go of it, and took a step down from the platform to the stage. They said their goodbyes and thank you's to the audience and went back stage. 

Bård grabbed a drink and looked around for Vegard, but couldn't see him, so he walked over to Calle. 

"Pretty awkward slow dancing with your own brother, right?" he said cheeky, forcing himself to give Calle a bright reassuring smile. The smile was unreturned. 

"Bård… I know the music was loud tonight, but the three of us share the same frequency on our earplugs.. I think you forgot about that.." He looked at Bård who had dropped his glass and was staring at him, eyes wide and unblinking. "..and apparently that's not all we share" 

Bård's mind was racing, but he couldn't find a single word to say. Calle got up and faced the exit, turning around to say a final thing before he left. "I would kiss you goodbye, but it seems we've both had our eyes closed, for entirely different reasons"


End file.
